The Hurt Locker
By Armond White
Although Brian De Palma lost his artistic bearings on the anti–Iraq War bandwagon, director Kathryn Bigelow found her perfect subject. That’s the difference between De Palma’s confused, preachy Redacted and Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker. Bigelow (working from a script by Mark Boal) stays focused on the personalities of soldiers during Bravo company’s last 39 days of rotation in 2004 Baghdad. An early reconnaissance jest (“It’s my dick.”) between Sgt. Sanborn (Anthony Mackie) and Sgt. Thompson (Guy Pearce) recalls De Palma’s ribaldry, but it also indicates Bigelow’s erotic view of masculine endeavor—here defining the propensity for violence and bravery during war. Read more
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen
By Armond White
Why waste spleen on Michael Bay? He’s a real visionary—perhaps mindless in some ways (he’s never bothered filming a good script), but Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is more proof he has a great eye for scale and a gift for visceral amazement. Bay’s ability to shoot spectacle makes the Ridley-Tony-Jake Scott family look like cavemen.
Who else could compose a sequence where characters (albeit robots) go from the bottom of the sea to another planet in one seamless, 30-second, dreamlike flow? Read more
Woody’s Wet Dream
Larry David tries to parlay his HBO shtick to the big screen
By Armond White
Ten years after his great expectoration of bile in Deconstructing Harry, Woody Allen comes up with Whatever Works—the most shameless, cynically titled Hollywood con job since the days of Billy Wilder. Having lost his originality, Allen here reboots the acerbic Deconstructing Harry by mixing in the rancid, misogynistic Mighty Aphrodite. It’s another of his old-goat/young-girl fantasies, but with TV’s Larry David in the know-it-all lecher role and Evan Rachel Wood as the bimbo sexpot. Only this time, Allen’s wet dream is primarily bile, adding little wit and then an avalanche of sentimentality. Read more
Domestic Abuse on FDR
A Bronx man was arrested on the side of the FDR Drive when police found him assaulting his girlfriend. Police said that on May 21 at 9:31 p.m., Angel Rivera, 37, stopped his car on the FDR Drive near East 73rd Street, pulled his 30-year-old girlfriend out of the car and pushed her onto a fence, causing a laceration. The detective who made the arrest said that he found the assailant punching the woman in the face while she lay on the street. Rivera was charged with assault.
Truck Theft
A man was arrested after he swiped a leather jacket out of a delivery truck that was parked on the corner of Second Avenue and East 94th Street. At noon on May 29, the driver of the truck, which belonged to Tat Express Inc. of North Bergen, N.J., left his vehicle to make a delivery. Cops said that Carlos Castro, 43, opened the front door and took a $250 leather jacket. The driver saw the burglary and chased Castro north on Second Avenue. A cop who witnessed the chase arrested Castro, who was charged with burglary.
Petty Theft
On May 31 at 1:47 a.m., a man gave up $22 after he and his friend were confronted by a group of men in Carl Schurz Park. Police said that the four men approached the two victims, who were 19 and 20, while they were sitting on a bench. One person in the group said, “Are you guys gay? Gross.” A verbal dispute ensued. Then one of the robbers demanded cash. One victim handed over the $22 and the group fled, according to cops.
Woody, the Girl and Me
A scandalous New York story of young love and the other man
By Ben Krull
Woody Allen, whose movie Whatever Works opens June 19, has a lot in common with me. We are both Jewish, we both root for the Knicks and we both like Woody Allen movies. We also once lusted after the same girl.
The girl, Stacy, was a classmate of mine in the now-defunct Bentley school on the Upper West Side, which I attended through 6th grade. Stacy’s rosy complexion, big round eyes and button nose pushed the limits of my prepubescent amorous desires. Read more
Pet of the Month: June 2009
By David Schlegel
Globetrotting dog Lluna was born in Spain, raised in Brazil and now lives in New York City, the final stop of her journey. Lluna ventured to Brazil to live with her owner’s parents, but owner Priscilla Waltrick missed her too much to let her live so far away. Although Lluna attended dog-training school in Brazil, she had some problems with other dogs when she first moved to New York. Read more
Cool Canines
The Pampered Pet
By David Schlegel
It’s swelteringly hot, you don’t feel like doing anything, but your dog is leaping up and down ready to play. Fear not! Now you too can be lazy while still giving your dog all the exercise and care he needs.
Why interrupt your sunbathing in Central Park when you can simply use Chuck It!, a toy that allows dog owners to effortlessly catapult a tennis ball with a scoop on the end of the toy. Find it for $16.99 at Petqua (2604 Broadway, 212-865-6060, www.petquaonline.com). Read more
Feline Introductions
Ask the Vet
Q:What is the best way to introduce a new cat into a house with an already existing feline? I’ve read that one should have a friend visit with the new animal and put it in a restricted, safe area, and then sometimes, especially if a third party has introduced the animal, the original cat will feel like they adopted the pet themselves. Is that right? Read more
