SummerStage 2010
Central and Tompkins Square parks aren’t the only public spaces offering summertime culture to the masses: City Parks Foundation will be celebrating the 25th anniversary of its SummerStage series this year, offering up over 100 free concerts, dance pieces and plays to anyone who wants to brave the fresh air. Spread out over 16 parks in every borough, let SummerStage lure you out of icy movie theaters and into a communal experience. Mosquito bites included.
June 1 through Aug. 29, www.summerstage.org.

The Winter’s Tale and Merchant of Venice come to Shakespeare in the Park this summer.

Planet Connections Theatre Festivity
Summer is the season for festivals, and The Planet Connections Theatre Festivity hails itself as “New York’s premiere eco-friendly theater festival.” Boasting 37 full productions (including a rock opera and an adaptation of The Picture of Dorian Gray) and several staged readings throughout June, this festival lacks the brand recognition of the increasingly bloated Fringe Fest, which makes it all the more deserving of your time.
June 3 through 27, various locations, www.planetconnectionsfestivity.com.

Modotti
After the ignominy of Looking for Billy Haines, which used the real-life story of gay silent film star for its own navel-gazing, poorly plotted purposes, Modotti looks like a breath of fresh air. The story of photographer and silent film actress Tina Modotti, Wendy Beckett’s play follows Modotti’s fascinating life as it leads her to Mexico, where she falls in with photographer Edward Weston, Diego Rivera and Julio Mella. Think of it as a chance to learn about the Mexican art scene at the time without having to see Frida Kahlo’s unibrow.
June 8 through July 3, Acorn Theater, 410 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200.

Shakespeare in the Park
The Public Theatre returns to two Shakespeare plays (The Winter’s Tale and Merchant of Venice) after last year’s foray into Greek tragedy with The Bacchae. Al Pacino as Shylock is already rumored to be moving to Broadway next season, months before the first performance. Use your summer as a chance to gloat to your friends about having seen it long before anyone else.
June 9 through Aug. 1, The Delacorte Theater, Central Park, enter park at W. 81st St. & Central Park West, 212-539-8500.

Thank You for Being a Friend
If you’re still riding the Betty White wave of love, join the other Whiteheads at this musical parody about roommates Blanchette, Dorthea, Roz and Sophie, and their feud with next-door-neighbor Lance Bass over his loud, outdoor gay sex parties. A hit last summer, the show is back and gayer than ever. No word yet on whether last minute revisions will replace Lance with Ricky Martin.
June 13 through Aug. 1, The Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-352-3101.

The Little One
Broadway hasn’t been too kind to vampires in the past (Dance of the Vampires, Lestat), but pop culture’s fascination with them is too strong for Off-Off-Broadway to deny. Besides, James Comtois’ play, about a fledging vampire learning the ins and outs of fangy immortality, has fight choreography from downtown darling Qui Nguyen, of Vampire Cowboys. Let’s hope The Little One is more True Blood and less Twilight.
June 17 through July 10, The Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-352-3101.

St. Nicholas
Critics are a horrible people, cruel and arrogant; most actors would be thrilled to drive a stake through their hearts. That possibility becomes more likely in this play about a jaded theater critic who becomes entangled in a world of vampires (yes, more of them) after becoming obsessed with a young actress. It’s like the theater version of cougars obsessed with Robert Pattinson, except classy: The play was written by Broadway vet Conor McPherson.
June 17 through July 4, WorkShop Theater, 312 W. 36th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-351-3101.

I’ll Be Damned
Musical theater newbies Rob Broadhurst and Brent Black (who created this show at NYU) got lucky with their first professional effort: Mary Testa has been announced to star in the production at The Vineyard. A musical about a friendless homeschooler who gets an offer he can’t refuse from Satan, I’ll Be Damned asks the question “Is there a way to make people like you without having to sell your soul to the devil?” The usual answer to this question when homeschoolers ask is “No.” But that may not be the case here.
July 1 through 18, The Vineyard, 108 E. 15th St. (betw. Irving Pl. and Union Sq. E.), 212-868-4444.

Ice Factory 2010
The critics’ darling comes to an unceremonious end this year as the Ohio Theatre falls prey to bad economics. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to miss out on the final six shows in the soon-to-be-missed festival, none of which seem tainted with the spoofy touch that mars so many other festival offerings.
July 7 through Aug. 14, Ohio Theatre, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Broome & Spring Sts.), 212-966-4844; $15.

Shakespeare in the Parking Lot
The Drilling Company’s annual Shakespeare in the Parking Lot is back again this year for its 16th season, offering up Love’s Labours Lost and Julius Caesar in the municipal parking lot on the LES. For anyone who likes the smell of exhaust (and the absence of raccoons) with free Shakespeare, this is the place.
July 9 through Aug. 15, The Municipal Parking Lot (at Ludlow and Broome Sts.), 212-877-0099; Free.

In God’s Hat
This play, about two brothers who haven’t seen one another since one of them was sent to prison, involves pedophilia, family feuds and Aryan skinheads. Whether or not the play successfully juggles its wild-sounding plot remains to be seen, but odds are the proceedings won’t be boring.
July 14 through Aug. 7, Peter Jay Sharp Theater, 416 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200.

2010 FringeNYC Festival
What would the dog days of summer be like without the Fringe Fest? Never mind that at this point, the fest is 95 percent vanity projects that somehow get produced, and only 5 percent worthwhile shows from new writers, directors and unknown actors. It’s a New York institution now, so get ready for the 14th year of theater taking over Downtown.
Aug. 13 through 29, various locations, www.fringenyc.org.

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In New York City, spying the first Mister Softee truck of the year is a sign that summer is almost upon us, heralded by that half-irritating, half-charming and completely unforgettable jingle.

For those New Yorkers who stick around these steamy streets in June, July and August, we’ve whipped up a list of wide-ranging activities to keep you distracted from the heat. Kayak in the Hudson, scalp a ticket to see Conan and sip sangria al fresco. While we can’t promise you’ll stay cool, at least we can keep you fully entertained for the next few months.

BOOKS

COMEDY

FILM

FOOD & DRINK

MUSIC

OUTDOOR

THEATER

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Dodgeball
Ah, dodgeball, the gym-class activity that always ended with sitting in the nurse’s office. Now that we’re all grownup and can handle some rubber to the face, it’s time to play with the people at NYC Social Sports Club. They’ve got a league going, but you can also drop in to some of their games. Lace up your sneakers and buy a cup, because the balls are on the line.
Wednesdays, June 23 to Aug. 4, various locations, www.nycssc.com; 8-10, $15 and up.

Dance to rockabilly, tango, soul, salsa, swing and more at Midsummer Night Swing.

Inner Tube Water Polo
One of the oldest continuous Olympic sports, water polo is like an aqueous mix of soccer and handball. Adding inner tubes to the game is an extra resistance challenge, an effective form of exercise and a great equalizer: It saves the aqua-impaired from the embarrassment of wearing water wings to the next match. This league’s deadline for individual or team registration is June 26, so butter up your friends or come and make new ones!
Fridays, June 26 through August, Lower East Side locations TBA, www.nycssc.com; 8, $100.

Kickball
Come kick it like you used to during 5th-grade recess. Stick it to the playground bullies and prove that you don’t need arms to be a great athlete. Plus, players get special deals on drinks after the game (maybe a little different from the elementary school playground, but whatever).
Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, Lower East Side locations TBA, www.meetup.com/nykickball; 6, $100 for the season.

Ultimate Frisbee
As the New York Times pointed out in late April, Ultimate is no longer associated with dirty hippies and collegians. Whether or not your response time is limited by smoking the happy lettuce, Ultimate can be an intensely challenging sport—just ask the folks in the internationally recognized competitions. A summer league is open through NYC Social Sports Club, but pickup games can be found all over the city, including Central Park.

Beach Volleyball Competition
Claiming to be the “largest free amateur beach volleyball” competition on the East Coast, 150 teams will compete for free elimination rounds starting in July. The best ballers can win great cash prizes. The NYC Parks Department hosts, and details will be released in June.

Hudson Kayaking
Ever since Captain Sully landed a plane in the Hudson, the polluted waterway has been one of the city’s most attractive destinations. Join in on the fun with Downtown Boathouse’s 20-minute long lessons. Wear something you don’t mind getting wet, and hop into a kayak.
Through Oct. 17, Pier 40, Pier 96 and Riverside Park at W. 72nd St., www.downtownboathouse.org; times vary, Free.

Let’s Dance!
A staple of the Summer on the Hudson festival, Let’s Dance! is the best way to take the ballroom out of dancing and get down in a park. With professional lessons from the Piel Canela Dance and Music school, adventurous romantics can spend the night learning salsa, cha-cha or the bachata—a Dominican dance style similar to merengue.
Sundays, June 6 through 27, Pier 1 at Riverside Park, betw. W. 65th & W. 72nd Sts., www.riversideparkfund.org; 6, Free.

Midsummer Night Swing
For those looking to tear up the concrete with a pre-surgery Jennifer Grey look-alike, there is nowhere classier to do it than Lincoln Center’s Damrosch Park. Offering rockabilly, tango, soul, salsa, swing and more, acts like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and the Harlem Renaissance Orchestra will provide foot-stomping sounds all through July. Dance lessons are offered at 6:30, with live music firing up about an hour later.
Tuesdays through Saturdays, June 29 through July 17, W. 62nd St. betw. Columbus and Amsterdam Aves., www.midsummernightswing.org; 6:30, $17.

Bastille Day Celebrations
Celebrated here on July 11, French Independence Day (which is actually July 14) celebrates the storming of Paris’ infamous political prison. In New York, Bastille Day is an excuse to play pétanque, eat crepes and get drunk in the sun on fancy wine. Although FI:AF hosts an annual Bastille day on E. 60th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves., www.bastilledaynyc.com), the real deal is in Carroll Gardens and Boerum Hill, where sponsors like Ricard, the sizeable French expat population and Smith Street bistros hold the Gallic-themed street fests.

Basketball
The quintessential American sport is fantastic outdoor exercise, and the Parks Department offers numerous opportunities to play, from working on your jump shot to finding a drop-in game in over 500 locations all over Manhattan—or you can join a league at Zog Sports.
Saturdays, various locations, www.zogsports.org.

Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
An important holiday for New Yorkers, July 4 is when we celebrate an important American experience: stuffing our faces with hot dogs until our hearts pump sodium. This annual Independence Day competition has become its own spectator sport, attracting international competitors and some 30,000 people to view the contest—not to mention the million-plus that watch it on ESPN.
July 4, Coney Island Boardwalk, www.coneyisland.com; time TBA, Free.

Beach Fireworks at Coney Island
With the recession squashing developers’ plans faster than mice can make their own, our fears of losing Coney Island nights can go the way of the dodo. Friday night fireworks, which begin at 9:30 starting June 19, are accompanied by karaoke and best viewed from the top of Deno’s Wonderwheel.
Fridays, June 19 through Aug. 14, Coney Island Boardwalk at W. 12th St., www.wonderwheel.com; 9:30, Free.

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Celebrate Brooklyn!
Prospect Park proves it’s more than just a pretty space by housing one of the best summer concert series in the city. Slather on some sunscreen and go see Sonic Youth and Talk Normal July 31, The Roots July 11 or Kid Koala June 25, as well as an opening night kick-off concert by Norah Jones June 9.
June 9 through Aug. 8, Prospect Park Bandshell, ener park at 9th St. & Prospect Park West, Brooklyn, 718-855-7882; Free.

A summer tradition: the Philharmonic in the park.

Madison Square Music
When you’re not in Madison Square Park filling up on burgers, try catching one of its free concerts. Offer to bring a blanket and let your friend stand in line for snacks before seeing soul singer Ruthie Foster, who opens up the park’s Oval Lawn Series June 16, or the David Bromberg Quartet July 14.
June 16 through Aug. 4, Madison Square Park, enter park at Madison Ave. & E. 26th St., www.madisonsquarepark.org; Free.

River To River Festival
From the must-see rock shows at Pier 17 to the early evening concert series at Rockefeller Park, a July 4 concert in Battery Park and the Bang On A Can Marathon, River to River is an exhaustive behemoth of Downtown summer music. Check the website for a full schedule.
June 22 through Aug. 11, various locations, 212-732-7678, www.rivertorivernyc.com; Free.

RiverRocks
See more than the swells break at Pier 54 during Hudson River Park’s annual music series featuring indie rockers like series headliners Phosphorescent & Dawes July 8, The Antlers July 22 and Real Estate Aug. 12.
July 8 through Aug. 12, Hudson River Park, Perry & West Streets, 212-627-2020, www.riverrocksnyc.com; Free.

New York Philharmonic in the Parks
Starting July 13, city parks will be great places for something other than staring at sunbathers; something more classy like a free orchestra concert, including pieces from Tchaikovsky, Gershwin, Bernstein and Mozart, in Central, Cunningham and Prospect parks.
July 13 through 16, various locations, 212-875-5656, www.nyphil.org; Free.

Lincoln Center Out of Doors
It’s not officially summer until Lincoln Center Out of Doors opens, because this annual festival of live music is the touchstone telling us now it’s time to bust out the short shorts, sunglasses and zinc. Make sure to see, on July 31, “The Detroit Breakdown,” featuring The Gories, Dennis Coffey, Melvin Davis, Spyder Turner and more.
July 28 through Aug. 15, various locations, www.lincolncenter.org; Free.

Charlie Parker Jazz Festival
Head to Tompkins Square Park in the East Village and Marcus Garvey Park in Harlem to hear some of jazz’s biggest musicians perform for this two-day celebration of the music Parker held so close to his heart. The Frank Wess Quintet and Cedar Walton Quartet headline.
Aug. 29 & 30, Marcus Garvey Park, enter park at E. 120th St. & Madison Ave. and Tompkins Square Park, enter park at E. 8th St. & Ave. A; 3, Free.

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Baraonda
This Upper East Side eatery dishes up an authentic Italian menu with a side of modern elegance. Dine inside or alfresco (the outside café seats 60) and have your way with hefty, moderately priced dishes like the Spaghetti Lobster or the Mediterranean Orata—then head over to the Sunday night party where dancing comes after dinner at midnight.
1439 2nd Ave. (at E. 75th St.), 212-288-8555.

Some infamous late-night action at Hudson Terrace.

Boat Basin Café
Despite a habit of attracting wholesome buttoned-up types, there’s something about this place that lures us back each summer. Perhaps it’s the readily available snacks, the huge-for-New-York space or the view of the setting sun burning off the toxic Jersey air—whatever it is, it’s worth the trip.
West 79th Street & West Side Highway, 212-496-5542.

Cavatappo Wine Bar
Corks off to Cavatappo for giving us a wine bar that doesn’t intimidate the varietal-challenged. With at least 75 wines (labeled under easy-to-understand headings like “Soft, Supple and Easy Drinking”), Italian cheeses, meats, finger sandwiches and a small outside seating area that accommodates 12, Cavatoppo is a full-bodied taste for wine enthusiasts or beer pongers trying to upgrade their style without donning dress shoes and a tie.
1728 2nd Ave. (at E. 90th St.), 212-426-0919.

Central Park Boathouse
You’re going to need to go here eventually, either for drinks with out of towners or some sort of event that requires a tie. You might as well get used to it now and stop in for a glass of white and some seasonal snacks.
Central Park, enter park at East 72nd Street & Park Drive North, 212-517-2233.

Firehouse Tavern
If you don’t want to burn through your budget, frequent this Upper West Side tavern (with sidewalk seating for 25) for cheap margaritas, tap and bottled beers, and a selection of quesadillas, sandwiches, gourmet-style pizza and Buffalo wings. A fun firehouse-themed décor (sans live Dalmatian) welcomes everyone from pint-sized patrons to New York’s Finest.
522 Columbus Ave. (at W. 85th St.), 212-787-3473.

Hudson Beach Café
If you closed your eyes, you’d swear you were at a neighborhood barbecue, with better service and better tasting food. Part of the P.D. O’Hurley’s chain, the outdoor Café is perfect for appetizers or entrées from sea or land, while watching New Yorkers get their sport on in Riverside Park.
Riverside Park, enter park at West 103rd Street & Riverside Drive, 917-370-3448.

Hudson Terrace
Now open for its second year, Hudson Terrace will be hosting more than just its infamous late-night action. The rooftop club will have a summer full of theme nights—hello, Taco Tuesdays and Beer Garden Fridays—underneath its new retractable roof, insuring that your gluttony won’t be ruined by rain.
621 W. 46th St. (betw. 11th & 12th Aves.), 212-315-9400.

Iris and B. Gerald Cantor Roof Garden
Escape the tourists milling about the Metropolitan Museum of Art and take the elevator all the way to the roof. In addition to the Big Bambú installation, you’ll find a great view and a small bar that serves margaritas, mojitos, mixed drinks and ice cream.
1000 5th Ave. (at E. 82nd St.), 212-535-7710.

P&G
It’s time for another summer of basking in the sun outside this Upper West Side bar. P&G might have lost its iconic neon sign when it moved, but the current location is bigger and, with an upgraded terrace, better for the warm weather.
380 Columbus Ave. (at W. 78th St.), 212-874-8568.

The Pier i Café
Take in scenic Hudson River views while enjoying burgers, freshly squeezed blueberry lemonade or fresh fruit sangria in this alfresco café. For a full day, time your visit with any number of summer events happening in the ever-improving Riverside Park South.
Riverside Park, enter at West 70th Street, 212-362-4450.

The Private Roof Club and Garden
The Gramercy Park Hotel is glamorous and supposedly impenetrable, but the rooftop boite, featuring a retractable roof and food prepared by Nick Anderer, the executive chef of Danny Meyer’s Maialino, is actually open to the public. Still, try dressing up if you don’t want to be turned away.
2 Lexington Ave. (at E. 21st St.), 212-920-3300.

Prohibition
The only thing illegal at this Upper West Side restaurant (with live music) is not having a good time. Enjoy live rock, blues, jazz and hip-hop (with no cover), menu selections that accommodate the serious diner (try the grilled salmon in a balsamic glaze) or the casual sampler (mini cheeseburgers). Dine inside with a 1920s swagger or on the 22-seat sidewalk café. The backroom, with pool table, can be booked for private parties of up to 70 people.
503 Columbus Ave. (at W. 84th Street), 212-597-3100.

Rare View Chelsea
Starting this Memorial Day, get your kicks looking down on Chelsea from the new rooftop bar of the Fashion 26 Hotel. Unfortunately, no one from below can see how stylish you look sipping a frosty, fruity cocktail and gazing longingly at the awesome view of the Empire State building and the grit of this part of Broadway.
152 W. 26th St. (at 7th Ave.), 212-807-7273.

Reif’s Tavern
Tradition trumps trends at Reif’s Tavern. Drink beer, play pool, throw darts, or if you call ahead, you can BYOM—Bring Your Own Meat—for the outdoor grill on the backyard patio. The tight-knit regulars welcome a new face but it might be wise to keep your Red Sox shout-outs to yourself at this sports bar.
302 E. 92nd St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-426-0519.

The Tangled Vine
If more than 160 bottles of mainly sustainable and organic wine doesn’t excite you, the rich food menu and airy bar table seating will. Open only for a few months, this new wine bar will soon feature an outdoor café to add to the luxury of summer tippling.
434 Amsterdam Ave. (at W. 81st St.), 646-863-3896.

The Underground Lounge
A reasonably priced menu features fresh Turkish-style hummus, Corona-battered fish ‘n’ chips and paninis. Get gritty with live comedy shows with no cover, an after-work Latin Party, and live musicians and bands. The outside café seats about 30 but remember, what happens underground stays underground.
995 West End Ave. (at W. 107th St.), 212-531-4759.

Uptown Restaurant and Lounge
Get down at Uptown with a live acoustic band on Monday nights, a three-piece jazz trio on Tuesday nights, or DJs on Fridays and Saturdays. Select from a diverse menu that includes coconut shrimp and goat cheese pizza, while you enjoy daily happy hour specials in a cozy nook or on the sidewalk café for about 20 people.
1576 3rd Ave. (betw. E. 88th & E. 89th Sts.), 212-828-1388.

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Anthology Film Archives
The Anthology Film Archives provides viewers this summer with an exciting collection of undistributed contemporary films. In June, it hosts the Bicycle Film Festival and a week-long retrospective of films by Pierre Clementi, and in July it screens Eccentricities of a Blonde, Manoel de Oliviera’s new film and hosts anti-biopics like Lisztomania. August features a week of films programmed by Maniac Cop director William Lustig.
32 2nd Ave. (at E. 2nd St.), 212-505-5181, www.anthologyfilmarchives.org.

The ever-popular Bryant Park summer film festival. Photo by Ethan Lercher

Bryant Park Summer Film Festival
This popular outdoor film series can get pretty noisy, making it rather hard to concentrate on the films screening, but it does feature some fun populist cinema. This year, movies screen every Monday night after sunset, starting June 21 with Goldfinger.
Bryant Park, enter park at W. 41st St. and 6th Ave., www.bryantpark.org.

Central Park Film Festival
This outdoor film festival is notably more crowded and noisy than the Bryant Park Summer Film Festival, but that’s to be expected given the differences in venue.  Last year’s line-up had everything from Sex and the City to the original Shaft. Look to vote for their annual “Viewer’s Choice” section in August. Screenings are free and start at 8 p.m., lineup TBA.
Aug. 18 through 22, Central Park, Rumsey Playfield, enter park at E. 69th St. & 5th Ave., www.centralparknyc.org.

Film Forum
Film Forum’s summer repertory programming looks really mouth-watering. Apart from individual week-long runs of Michelangelo Antonioni’s Le Amiche, Howard Hawks’ Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and Jacques Tourneur’s Nightfall, Film Forum will host a comprehensive Anthony Mann retrospective and a mini-Charlie Chaplin program, emphasizing later films like Monsieur Verdoux and A Countess from Hong Kong.
209 W. Houston St. (betw. 6th Ave. & Varick St.), 212-727-8110, www.filmforum.org.

Film Society at Lincoln Center
The home to the most prestigious repertory theaters in the city features some mighty tempting programming this summer. This June alone is packed with some very exciting programs, including the New York Asian Film Festival. From June 1 through 3, the Walter Reade Theater will host a complete retrospective of director/playwright Agnes Jaoui’s films both as a director and screenwriter. After that comes Open Roads (June 4 through 10), the Society’s perennial survey of new Italian films. Then comes the Human Rights Watch International Film Festival (June 11 through 24).
70 Lincoln Center Plaza, W. 65th St. (near Amsterdam Ave.), www.filmlinc.com.

Manhattan Film Festival
Screening at Symphony Space, this relatively new film festival is dedicated to short film programs. Shorts are arranged by generic categories like International Short Program and Action Short Program, as well as several dedicated to local filmmakers, like New York Short Program and Brooklyn Short Program.
July 21 through 25, 2537 Broadway (betw. W. 94th & W. 95th Sts.), 212-864-5400, www.manhattanfilmfestival.org.

New York Asian Film Festival
The best film festival in town has come a long way from the Anthology Film Archives nine years ago to Lincoln Center’s Walter Reade. This year’s festival will feature tributes to Hong Kong stars Sammo Hung and Simon Yam, with both stars in attendance, and screenings of a bevy of pop and art house films, including historical drama-cum-martial arts flick Ip Man 2 and camp sci-fi freak-out Robo-Geisha.
June 25 through July 8, 70 Lincoln Center Plaza, W. 65th St. near Amsterdam Ave.

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Conan O’Brien comes to Radio City for some high quality NBC bashing.

Jim Breuer
He was Brian in Half Baked, but now he’s got three kids. He’s probably still as crazy, though. If you’re baked, you’ll have a good time.
June 11 through 13, Gotham Comedy Club, 208 W. 23rd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-367-9000, www.gothamcomedyclub.com; $30.

Michael Ian Black
Michael Ian Black is one of the two Michaels from Stella and the only Ian Black to write for McSweeney’s. His stand up is also pretty good.
June 24 through 27, Comix, 353 W. 14th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-524-2500, www.comixny.com; $28.

Comedy Central Park: The Daily Show and Friends
Lewis Black, our favorite angry, ranting comic, will host the fourth free comedy show in Central Park, featuring Daily Show regulars John Oliver and Rob Riggle.
July 21, Central Park SummerStage, enter park at East 63rd Street & 5th Avenue, 212-360-2756, www.summerstage.org; 8, Free.

Punch Up Your Life!
Joe Derosa and Pete Holmes host a weekly stand-up show in the stacks of Housing Works. Alright, maybe it’s not in the stacks, but I’m sure you can still grab ahold of that totally underappreciated Beat writer’s first novel to impress the girl standing next to you.
Tuesdays, Housing Works Bookstore, 126 Crosby St. (betw. E. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-3324, www.housingworksbookstore.com; 8:30, $3.

Comedy Night with Victoria Well
Nirvana isn’t just the best band ever, it’s also the name of a nice Indian restaurant. Above the door, the sign reads “Indian Culinary Bliss.” So you probably don’t know on Tuesday nights you can watch people do stand-up while you scarf down some samosas and curry.
Wednesdays, Nirvana, 346 Lexington Ave. (betw. E. 39th & E. 40th Sts.), 212-983-0000, www.nirvanany.com; 7, Free.

No Name… & A Bag O’ Chips
Enjoy a famous Volcano Bowl at the bar while you sit back and enjoy comedy that’s as funny as a shrunken head or that episode of The Brady Bunch where Bobby finds an idol in Hawaii. Alright, maybe it’s just funnier than that first thing.
Second and Third Fridays, Otto’s Shrunken Head, 538 E. 14th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-228-2240, www.ottosshrunkenhead.com; 8, Free.

Reuben Williams Attacks!
One of the premier improv troupes in New York and still cheaper than a movie. Prepare to have your head blown, your ass kicked, your neck broken and maybe something happen with your fingernails.
Saturdays, Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, 307 W. 26th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-366-9176, www.ucbtheatre.com; 10:30, $10.

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World Cup 2010: The Indispensable Guide to Soccer and Geopolitics
World Cup fever hits June 11. If you’re going to pretend like you know what you’re talking about for the only month every four years that Americans care about soccer, you better do your research. Join Stephen and Harrison Stark as they discuss their book World Cup 2010, which lays out the premise that soccer is the window to a nation’s soul.
June 9, The Strand, 828 Broadway (at E. 12th St.), 212-473-1452; 7, Free.

The Daily Show’s Samantha Bee comes to Bryant Park.

Word for Word Series
With an event nearly every other day this summer, the Word for Word series in Bryant Park has something for everyone. Highlights include funny woman Samantha Bee (June 9), mean girl publicist Kelly Cutrone (June 16), sex master Dr. Ruth (June 30) and bad-ass war journalist and screenwriter Sebastian Junger (July 14). It’s the perfect storm of speakers.
Wednesdays, Bryant Park, enter park at W. 41st St. and 6th Ave., 212-768-4242; 12:30, Free.

Madison Square Reads
Throughout the summer, well-known writers will give free outdoor readings in Madison Square Park—right next to Shake Shack! You could read the entire book while on line! July 15, Craig Nelson (not the dude from Coach) reads from Rocket Men: The Epic Story of The First Men on The Moon. There’s also a number of food writers, then the stage hosts David Gates, Tracy Daugherty, Emily Barton and Stacey D’Erasmo July 22, to honor short fiction writer Donald Barthelme.
Thursday evenings, Madison Square Park’s Farragut Monument, enter park at E. 23rd St. and Madison Ave., www.madisonsquarepark.org; 6:30, Free.

McNally Jackson Fiction Book Club
Trend-shattering successful independent bookstore McNally Jackson is never short on interesting writers attempting to educate the fashionable illiterates of Nolita. The store also hosts plenty of readings and the summer kicks off with a bang—or just a dude with bangs—when Simon Rich visits June 2. Check back on the website for future updates.
One Monday per month, McNally Jackson, 52 Prince St. (betw. Lafayette & Mulberry Sts.), 212-274-1160, www.mcnallyjackson.com; 7, Free.

Housing Works Bookstore Café
The non-profit has its once a year Open Air Street Fair June 5, where it opens up the secret basement vault and unloads thousands of books for a dollar each on Crosby Street. Award-winning Netherland author Joseph O’Neill stops by June 10. For those of you whose psychiatric needs aren’t being met (i.e. all of you), there will be a July 27 event that’s described as “speed-dating but with shrinks” to celebrate the paperback release of our pal Sue Shapiro’s Speed Shrinking.
Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby St. (betw. E. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-3324, www.housingworks.org; Free.

Bloomsday on Broadway
For the past 28 years, Symphony Space co-founder Isaiah Sheffer has hosted a marathon staging of scenes from James Joyce’s Ulysses, enlisting a lot of big-name celebrities to bring the story of a day in the life of Dublin anti-hero Leopold Bloom to life. Performances have been known to go on for seven hours, so be prepared for a lot of Joyce. Whatever the length, $25 is a good price for what has become a New York institution.
June 16, Symphony Space, 2537 Broadway (betw. W. 95th & W. 96th Sts.), 212-864-5400; 7 $25.

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Beth and Bianca relax on the beach. Photo by Christopher Appoldt

How do you not come home with new animals every time you visit the North Shore Animal League America? I gotta say that’s tough. Right now, with our hectic lifestyles, we only have room for one. But down the road when renovations are finished in our apartment and we’re more settled, absolutely, I want to adopt a lot more animals.
There’s a whole area at the North Shore Animal League of adult dogs, and it’s heartbreaking. A lot of these animals, their owners have passed away, so these perfect animals are sitting there at a shelter waiting to get adopted—people seem to walk right past them when they’re the best pets to get. They’ve already been through the puppy stage, they usually sleep through the night, they’ve had all of their vaccinations up to date and they’re perfect pets, already trained.

Is there a common misconception about adopting pets from a shelter rather than going through a breeder? I always want people to understand that any type of dog—if you want a dog, a cat, a puppy, a kitten—you can find them in a shelter. As a matter of fact, 25 percent of our shelter pets, or any shelter pet, are actually purebreds. So shelters are indeed the best paces to find a huge selection of healthy, happy pets and I urge animal lovers to avoid pet stores. A lot of times animals are supplied by the puppy mill trade where the dogs are bred under really inhumane conditions, and when you go to a shelter you’re saving a life.

Does Bianca come out with you in the city a lot? She does. She goes on errands with me; she’s a frequent shopper at Intermix. And of course we stop at the dry cleaners on the way on Columbus Avenue and she gets treats in there. Everybody seems to know Bianca. But I never take her to a store that you’re not allowed to have animals inside. So many people on the Upper West Side—I see it on a daily basis—tie their dogs outside of Starbucks or grocery stores and that’s just a recipe for disaster. There are so many animals that get stolen that way. A friend of mine went in to get milk with her baby, she tied her English bulldog to the bike fence right outside of D’Agostino’s, she came back and her dog was gone.

Did she get the dog back? We did. I got involved, I had Howard talk about it on the air, we got morning shows involved and thankfully it was a happy ending. So I tell people, if you’re going to leave your dog outside, make sure you have another person to stay with the dog.

Do you have any favorite childhood summer memories? Our family had a little beach house on Lake Erie—I’m from Pittsburgh—and so we would travel two-and-a-half hours to our little beach house, spend all of our summers there. And it was when I had my first boyfriend, my first kiss, all of my friends were there, the campfires—I think that that’s my fondest summer memory.

What’s your book about? My book is called Oh My Dog: How to Raise Your Pet to Be a Happy, Disciplined, Healthy, Fun and Friendly Ball of Love. People think because of my association with animal rescue that I’m an expert on dogs, and I’m so not an expert. I’m just passionate about telling people to adopt. So I’m going with the route of interviewing all the top trainers, all the top behaviorists, all the top vets, and putting together a book where I’m acting as the host of all of these questions that anyone would ever need to know when they bring a dog into their life. We’re expecting a March 2010 release.

Finally, a crucial question for the hottest season of year: Mister Softee or Pinkberry? I’m a Mister Softee person, because if you’re gonna do it, you might as well go for it.

—Charlotte Eichna

Transcript has been edited for brevity and clarity.
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About These Animals
The dogs featured in this year’s summer guide come from the North Shore Animal League America, the largest no-kill animal rescue and adoption organization in the world. Every year, the league places approximately 20,000 dogs, cats, puppies and kittens with new owners, and since 1944 has found homes for nearly 1 million pets.
The league has supported animals in the aftermath of Hurricanes Katrina, Rita, Gustav and Ike, and gives a home to dogs rescued from puppy mills, where animals are often bred under inhuman conditions (two of the dogs featured in these pages come from puppy mills).
We hope that if you decide to add a pet to your family this summer, that you consider adopting one from a shelter.
Thanks to everyone at the league who helped coordinate our shoot with the talented photographer Christopher Appoldt, and thanks to Canine Styles, which provided accessories. For more information, visit www.AnimalLeague.org and www.CanineStyles.com.

OUR TOWN SUMMER GUIDE 2009:

THE GREAT OUTDOORS featuring a Q&A with SeaStreak

MUSIC featuring a Q&A with Bill Bragin, director of public programming for the Lincoln Center

FOOD & DRINK featuring a Q&A with Nick, a 17-year-old Mister Softee vendor

THEATER featuring a Q&A with Sam Neuman, the Public Theater’s press manager.

FILM

BOOKS featuring a Q&A with Amanda Stern, curator of The Happy Endings Reading Series

COMEDY

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Rollerblading in Central Park
With the young kids rocking ‘90s fashion again, there is no shame in dusting off your elbow pads and joining Thursday Evening Skate. This free group, run by certified Central Park state patrollers, meets Thursdays at 7 p.m. The route around the traffic-free, 6.1-mile loop (the 5.2-mile version without “Heartbreak Hill” is available as well) is for moderately experienced skaters, and helmets and wrist guards are required. Afterward the group eats dinner—at its own expense—at the Amsterdam Ale House. Thursdays, Columbus Circle entrance to Central Park, www.skatecity.com; 7 p.m., FREE

Chollie, a neutered 3-year-old Pekinese pug, is ready for the Hamptons in his green polo golf shirt from Canine Styles. For more dog beachwear, visit www.caninestyles.com. Photo by Christopher Appoldt; photo illustration by Monica Tang

Dodgeball
Dodgeball is played all over town, but it is especially popular in leagues and drop-in games. Once a week, usually Wednesday or Thursday, the folks at the NYC Social Sports Club host a drop-in game. You can pre-register online, but it is not required. So go hit your best friend in the face with a ball; the only penalty is sitting out for the rest of the game. Totally worth it. Wednesdays or Thursdays at the St. Patrick Youth Center, 270 Mulberry St., betw. Houston and Prince Sts., www.nycssc.com; 6 p.m., $15

Inner Tube Water Polo
One of the oldest continuous Olympic sports, water polo is like an aqueous mix of soccer and handball. Adding inner tubes to the game is an extra resistance challenge, an effective form of exercise and a great equalizer: it saves the aqua-impaired from the embarrassment of wearing water wings to the next match. This league’s deadline for individual or team registration is June 26, so butter up your friends or come and make new ones! Sundays, July 12 to Aug. 23 (playoffs), Lower East Side locations TBA, www.nycssc.com; 8, $100

Kickball
Come kick it like you used to during 5th grade recess. Plus, players get special deals on drinks after the game (maybe a little different from the elementary school playground, but whatever). Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, Lower East Side locations TBA, www.meetup.com/nykickball; 6 p.m., $100 for the season

Ultimate Frisbee
As the New York Times pointed out in late April, Ultimate is no longer associated with dirty hippies and collegians. Whether or not your response time is limited by smoking the happy lettuce, Ultimate can be an intensely challenging sport—just ask the folks in the international recognized competitions. A summer league is open through NYC Social Sports Club, but pickup games can be found all over the city, including Central and Prospect parks. Fridays from May 29 to July 10, Location TBA, meetup.com/NYCUltimate; 6 p.m., $100 or FREE for pickup games

Wii Parties at the Creek
While admittedly not really outdoors, how could anyone resist the chance to show off those sporty video games skills? No shame is involved in these free Wii sports competitions along with games of Super Smash Brothers, Mario Kart and more mindless fun. Second and fourth Mondays, 10-93 Jackson Ave., at 11th St., Queens, thecreekandthecave.com; 7 p.m., FREE

Basketball
The quintessentially New York (and American) sport is fantastic outdoor exercise, and the Parks Department offers numerous opportunities to play, from working on your jump shot to finding a drop-in game in more than 500 locations all over Manhattan—or you can join a league at Zog Sports. Saturdays, various locations, www.zogsports.org

Hudson Kayaking
We just can’t get enough of the Hudson this season, and if boat rides are too pedestrian for the urban explorer, Downtown Boathouse offers 20-minute long lessons, giving “first hand” exploration of New York’s historic aquatic highway. Best of all, it is free to the public; just dress to get wet. For able swimmers only.
June 3 to Sept. 23, Piers 40 (West Houston St.), 96 (W. 56th St.) and Riverside park at W. 72nd St., www.downtownboathouse.org; times vary, FREE

Let’s Dance!
A staple of the Summer on the Hudson festival, Let’s Dance! is the best way to take the ballroom out of dancing and get down in a park. With professional lessons from the Piel Canela Dance and Music school, adventurous romantics can spend the night learning salsa, cha-cha or the bachata—a Dominican dance style similar to meringue. Sundays, Pier 1 at Riverside Park, betw. 65th & 72nd Sts., www.riversideparkfund.org; 6 p.m., FREE

Midsummer Night Swing
For those looking to tear up the concrete with a pre-surgery Jennifer Grey look-alike, there is nowhere classier than Lincoln Center’s Damrosch Park. Offering rockabilly, tango, soul, salsa, swing and more, talented acts like Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and the Harlem Renaissance Orchestra provide foot-stomping sounds all through July. Dance lessons are offered at 6:30 p.m. with live music firing up about an hour later. Tuesdays through Saturdays, July 7 to 25, W. 62nd St. betw. Columbus and Amsterdam Aves., www.midsummernightswing.org; $15

Bastille Day Celebrations
Observed on July 14, French Independence Day celebrates the storming of Paris’ infamous political prison. In New York, Bastille Day is an excuse to play pétanque, eat crepes and get drunk in the sun on fancy wine. Although the French Institute Alliance Français hosts an annual Bastille day on E. 60th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), the real deal is in Carroll Gardens and Boerum Hill, where sponsors like Ricard, the sizeable French expat population and Smith Street bistros hold the Gallic-themed street fests. July 14, Smith St. betw. Pacific and Degraw Sts., www.bartabacny.com and www.provenceenboite.com; noon, FREE

Beach Volleyball Competition
Claiming to be the “largest free amateur beach volleyball” competition on the East Coast, 150 teams compete for free elimination rounds starting in July. The best ballers win great cash prizes and superlative Brooklyn respect, which is recognized practically everywhere the sun shines. The NYC Parks Department hosts, and details will be released in June. www.nycgovparks.org

Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
An important holiday for New Yorkers, July 4 is when we celebrate a quintessential American experience: stuffing our faces with hot dogs until our hearts pump sodium. This annual Independence Day competition has become its own spectator sport, attracting international competitors and some 30,000 people to view the contest—not to mention the million-plus that watch it on ESPN. July 4, Coney Island Boardwalk, www.coneyisland.com; time TBA, FREE
Beach Fireworks at Coney Island
Friday night fireworks, which begin at 9:30 p.m. starting June 19, are accompanied by karaoke and are best viewed from the top of Deno’s Wonderwheel. Fridays, June 19 to Aug. 18, Coney Island Boardwalk at W. 12th St., www.wonderwheel.com; 9:30 p.m., FREE

Twilight Tours in Prospect Park
An evening boat ride on Prospect Park Lake is romantic. Throw some wine and cheese in the mix, and it’s practically a honeymoon. You’ll know it’s marriage, however, when you finish up with a guided night tour of the park’s mysterious bat population. For most Thursdays this summer, you’ll be offered a chance to glimpse into the amazing—and slightly creepy—nocturnal creatures that call Brooklyn home. Thursdays, Prospect Park Audubon Center, www.prospectpark.org; 6:30 p.m., $30
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Ship Ahoy

By Nick Broad

SeaStreak not only offers rides out to the Mets and Yankees games, but it is also the only ferry service that transports people to the beaches of Sandy Hook during the summer. One of them, Gunnison Beach, is among the largest clothing-optional beaches in the United States, making it quite apropos that a company called SeaStreak should transport patrons there. We spoke to Captain Donald J. Babbitt about the trip. The following transcript has been edited.

How did you become a captain? I was a mate on a fishing boat. Some of my friends that were mates also left to go and work for the ferry service. After a few years of them urging me to come and work with them, I did, and I’ve been with SeaStreak since April 2003.

Tickets are sold on a first come, first served basis from the city. Are there trips that are sold out? What’s the best way of making sure you get a ride? We only sell out or max our capacity in the summertime weekends. Don’t show up at 10 a.m. for a 10 a.m. departure! Arrive at least 10 minutes before the boat departs, and that should give you a better chance of getting on board.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever seen floating in the water? Any wildlife—seals, whales? I once saw a roof of a house or shed floating down the East River. We do on occasion see whales and dolphins. My favorite is seeing the seals sun themselves on top of the ice floes in the winter.

Do you have any good stories about odd things that have occurred on a ferry ride? One summer, while taking passengers to a Mets game, I noticed two small Coast Guard boats riding alongside of us. They often provide us with an escort, so I didn’t think anything of it. Later that day I found out that there were a couple of female passengers on the sun deck exposing themselves to the Coast Guardsmen. That explains why they all had smiles on their faces!

SeaStreak picks up passengers in Manhattan from Pier 11 (on the East River at Wall Street) and East 35th Street and the East River. The company operates this service from May 23 until Labor Day weekend. Tickets cost $40 for a round trip, plus $5 for a bicycle. There is a shuttle bus in Sandy Hook to take people to the various beaches. For a complete schedule and other details, visit www.seastreak.com.

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