Do People Pick Up After Their Dogs on the UES? Many Say “Not Really”

Do people pick up after their beloved dogs on the Upper East Side? The answer appears to be an unpleasant and lingering “occasionally.”

The matter has blossomed into the latest simmering Reddit civil war in the neighborhood, with visual evidence—and eyewitness testimony—lending weight to accusations of doggy-duty dereliction. Not everybody agrees that it’s a pressing issue, either, although dissenters appear to be in the relative minority.

User “tooksometimeoff” started a thread on the issue with a shot across the bow: “If you made the decision to own a dog, you also took on the responsibility of picking up after it. It takes five seconds to pull out a bag (which costs next to nothing), pick up YOUR dog’s poop, and toss it in the trash. If you’re too lazy or entitled to do even that, you shouldn’t have a dog—period.”

That user then promised to install “$15-$20 cheap hidden cameras in problem areas,” adding that brazen violators could “expect to see posters with your face plastered everywhere.” Responses to the post were generally supportive, with offers of help to put up the posters.

“Intelligent-Tip7062” displayed a contrarian streak, however, by retorting that “tooksometimeoff” was a “karen” that “must be fun at parties.” The post received 42 “downvotes,” an indication that its laissez-faire attitude was not widely appreciated.

A visit to the East 60s by Our Town revealed that some dog owners are frustrated with their irresponsible counterparts. Kyle was as livid as “tooksometimeoff” was, calling the situation “terrible.” His jet-black pooch, wearing a red bandana, blissfully sniffed around for sidewalk morsels while he spoke.

“I’ve even ran people down,” he added. Asked about what some solutions could be, he pointed out that fines on people that don’t clean up after their dogs should be enforced. Indeed, the city’s Department of Sanitation has the ability to fine negligent owners $250 if they fail to pick up after their pets. The agency recommends that violators be captured by surveillance cameras, which may explain the “hidden cameras” pursuit on Reddit.

Tina, who was walking some variety of sheepdog across the way, dutifully did some poop-scooping before concluding that “everybody should do it.” She let out a laugh at the line of questioning, but didn’t disagree that bad actors were afoot.

However, perhaps the most telling evidence of a dog-poop epidemic comes from an otherwise under-the-radar source: flowerbeds. In fact, once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Small trees are scattered everywhere throughout the Upper East Side, and dogs clearly seek out the tiny patches of soil they provide to “do their business.”

The problem, as Our Town discovered, is that their owners clearly don’t hold up their end of the bargain. Some local flowerbeds, maybe even a majority, are absolutely riddled with untouched canine turds.

Dog leftovers are also famously found in local puddles, which led local City Council Member Julie Menin towards introducing a bill on the subject last May. It would mandate that the Department of Sanitation “install and fill dog waste bag dispensers on public litter baskets.” It received a hearing, but didn’t appear to gain wider traction.