ED-blowdry38 KINFOLK'S "SOUL FOOD AT THE BEACH!" 1116 SURF AVE. (W. 12TH ...

KINFOLK'S "SOUL FOOD AT THE BEACH!"

1116 SURF AVE. (W. 12TH ST.), 718-265-4036

MA'S SPECIALTY GRILL

SURF AVE. (W. 12TH ST.)

IN SPITE OF my cautionary acquaintances, I actually do go swimming at Coney Island during the summer. After all, as my optimistic friend Popcorn puts it, "The salt kills everything!"

Big deal. An empty cigarette pack or two floats by as me and the other overweight poor people are squealing at the small waves-it's fun! I'm usually good to buy a corn dog and some cotton candy while strolling around and about, but this year I spotted an intriguing soul-food shack called Kinfolk's. The colorful and crazy signs reminded me of the South, land of the hush puppy.

Hush puppies are ground-up corn meal with a mysterious spice; supposedly they were invented when cooks rolled up deep-fried dough and threw it to the yapping dogs to shut them up: "Hush, puppy!" I met Cynthia, a lovely woman from South Carolina who runs Kinfolk's and prepares the food at home with her mother-in-law. Though she wasn't serving hush puppies that day, it just made me like Kinfolk's more. I expected nothing less than an erratic menu from this beautiful spot whose sign advertised BBQ ribs "So good You'll Slap Your Mamma," and Kool-Aid (Yes we Did!!!).

I tried the jumbo shrimp, which had a breaded exterior that tasted like nothing I've ever had before. I'm not that kind of food columnist, the kind who knows what, say, coriander, is, and Cynthia wasn't giving away any Southern Secrets that day. But that was good. My friend Amy got macaroni and cheese (a $2 side item), which was made with a tangy cheddar-much more flavorful than the powdery Kraft I grew up with.

Cynthia's cousin, Mike B., rolled up with a truly cool girlfriend, who got pig's feet and black-eyed peas, which she loved. Mike told me his favorite was the homemade banana pudding ($2). Then Avatar Prynce came over and claimed that the shrimp were off the meter. He also told me that he was God on Earth, and that he slaved all week. He was truly slick, not an imposition like a bad hustler can be, and it took at least six minutes before he admitted to selling candle-oil burners with oil from Nubian Heritage, special formulas with olfactorily vague names such as Lick Me All Over, and the promisingly titled Pussy.

I noticed that vendors weren't that gabby on Surf Ave., and Avatar Prynce pointed out that this is really how most people are. They're not like the people in Chelsea, where he now lives, who tell you their life story right away.

"Do you think it's all that therapy?" I asked.

"Pretty much."

C.D., who works at Shoot the Star on Stillwell, was in a big hurry but said Kinfolk's is New York's best. I told him I write for New York Press, and he told me he delivered the payroll to that girl at the desk.

"So you're the one!" I screamed, pointing accusingly, which we all enjoyed.

I got a small order of ribs that were so good I wanted Wonder Bread on the side to sponge it up, maybe even the whole-wheat or honey variety, which are dyed brown to give the illusion of health. I brought the ribs over to the Sideshow, where they're all big Kinfolk's fans. I saw Cynthia's 10-year-old son, Devon, running around.

"They love him out here! At Astroland and the Sideshow they all love him!" Cynthia told me. He's adorable and very outgoing for a kid who came from the country to arrive at the seediest amusement park in the Western World.

Right next to the Sideshow bar, which sells Rheingold for $3, is Tacos Tortas, where a beef (el pastor) taco sells for $2. It comes with lime, and you can add your own guacamole paste or perfectly mixed hot sauce from a squirt bottle. It reminded me of Los Angeles, and Eak, the man with space tattooed on his face, says it's close to what he'd get in Mexico City as well.

"Mmmm, this is good! This is so good!" I kept saying, homesick for a place I'd never even been.

Nearby is Don Roberto's place, Jugos Naturales, where you can get a shake made up of three fruits for $3.50, or a banana shake like mine for $3. Dick Zigun, the Freak Show proprietor, was standing near the barker, who kept repeating the motto: "They're here! They're alive! They're real!"

He suggested I go to Ma's, a grill around the corner, where one of their specials is the Cyclone. "Everyone's Favorite!!!" shouts the menu. For $5.95 you get marinated grilled chicken topped with Caesar salad on toasted garlic bread. I chose the Thunderbolt instead: Italian sausage split down the middle and stuffed with grilled pepper, served on warm Italian bread.

I asked a few police where they ate at Coney Island, and they said they don't, in which case they're really missin' out. That sausage sandwich was great. We strolled by Puzzles, a dingy yet slightly up-to-date bar, and went to the Boardwalk to visit Lucky Dave's favorite place, Ruby's, where they serve just about everything. I saw a cute Mommy Chaser with his arms around his mature lady friend, and Goldie, a Ruby's regular, who was drowning in shiny jewelry and shaking her maracas, right on the beat. I could spend a lot of time there. o